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Death Star petition: Obama administration "does not support blowing up planets"


The death star plans are not in the main computer.
The death star plans are not in the main computer.

Daniel Martins, staff writer

January 12, 2013 — White House hilariously declines petition by citizens to build a fully functional Death Star.

No word on whether the U.S. military plans on changing its uniform policy either.
No word on whether the U.S. military plans on changing its uniform policy either.

Remember when a bunch of U.S. citizens got together to petition the White House to actually build a working Death Star?

It seems the folks at the White House petitions website saw those movies too, judging by the tongue-in-cheek response by Paul Shawcross, the White House's Science and Space Branch, starting with the title: "This isn't the petition response you're looking for." 

Shawcross says, while the Obama Administration "shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense," there are no plans, secret or otherwise, for a Death Star.

One reason, Shawcross says, is that the administration "does not support blowing up planets."

Higher on the list, however, was the deal-breaking price tag of around $850,000,000,000,000,000.

"We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it," Shawcross writes.

In any case, the technology is rather famously flawed.

"Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?" Shawcross argues, referring to the iconic scene where hero Luke Skywalker, piloting an X-Wing starfighter, destroys the enormous battlestation by firing torpedos into an (astoundingly) unguarded exhaust port.

The White House was forced to respond to the petition, posted on website, after it surpassed the 25,000-signature threshold.

Shawcross tried to soothe disappointed petitioners by playing up the United States' thriving space program.

He cited Mars rovers, research into robotics, the Voyager space probes' exit from the solar system, progress on private space flight and International Space Station.

"We are living in the future!" he says. "Enjoy it. Or better yet, help build it by pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field."

Check out the full response -- which has to be read to be believed -- here.

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